I drove myself nuts yesterday trying to figure out what book to write. I was the equivalent of a dog chasing its tail, spinning round and round for no good reason. I tried plotting on paper. I tried plotting on my giant whiteboard. I tried plotting with Post Its.
I had lots of ideas, but NOTHING worked.
And I panicked.
I was so desperate that I even pulled out an old manuscript I haven’t completed, thinking that maybe I could reformulate it to be the kind of book I wanted it to be. Even that didn’t work.
I lay in bed last night convinced I have no idea what I’m doing. My heart pounded. My stomach churned. My mind raced.
Finally, after hours of tossing and turning I fell asleep.
Of course the moment I woke up, I remembered I didn’t know what I was supposed to write today. I panicked all over again. Then I realized I’d forgotten to set my alarm so that I could get up and run. I was a double-loser before I even got out of bed…happy Monday to me.
I got up, took the dog out, decided it was too hot to run, took care of the plants, made my coffee and ate breakfast. (The whole eating breakfast thing is one of the habits I’m trying to instill during this 100 Day thing.) While I ate, I worked on some affirmations, which helped to settle my chasing-my-tail-mind down a little.
Then I put my butt in my chair, picked up my purple pen and stared at a blank sheet of paper.
I started to sketch out an idea…one that was new, but felt familiar. I’d scribbled out notes on the entire first act before I realized I’ve written something similar to this before. It was then I’d realized what my subconscious had been trying to tell me yesterday. I DID need to go back to an old manuscript, just not the one I’d found.
I needed to go back, way back, in my archives. How far back? This far back:
Yup, the book idea I want to work on was saved on a floppy disk. It’s been rattling around in the back of my head for that long. Scary, huh?
A while back I saw a thing from Stephen King (can’t remember if it was a column or a speech and of course I didn’t save it) where he basically said he doesn’t keep notes or lists of ideas or anything because “the good stuff sticks”.
Obviously, since this idea has stuck around for so long, I think it’s some good stuff. Time will tell.
Do you hang onto stuff (recipes, projects, supplies, friends, plans, ideas) like a squirrel hoarding acorns, or do you let go of it, trusting that “the good stuff sticks”?
How’s YOUR Monday going?