I’d Make a Terrible Criminal…maybe BECAUSE I’m a writer?

Last night there was a loud knock on our door after nine at night.

This startled me. I don’t know about you, but I’m not accustomed to unexpected nocturnal visitors.

After I’d made sure my heart hadn’t really leapt out of my chest, and corralling the dogs (who were even more agitated than their owner) I opened the door and found myself talking to two police detectives.

I’m assuming the second one was a detective. The one guy flashed his badge and introduced himself. The other guy didn’t say much of anything.

I wasn’t too happy that he stood five feet away from the detective I was talking to. It meant that I couldn’t really keep an eye on him, which made me nervous considering they’d just given me a fright. Even though the Speaking Detective was asking the questions I kept swinging back and forth between them when I answered.  Meanwhile the writer in me wondered if they were playing “good cop, bad cop” or if he was observing my body language, or maybe he was trying to not be intimidating by stepping away, or if he thought the reason he was there was dumb…

Basically I was not engaged in the moment. I was stuck in “writer brain” and I couldn’t very well say, “Can I have a moment to reset? I know I told you I was doing the dishes, but I was also trying to figure out how to hide a body.” (because that’s what this writer does while performing mundane household chores)

So basically I think I’d make a terrible criminal because I’m easily flustered and lack focus when speaking to members of Law Enforcement.

I’m assuming that the reason they show up unannounced after nine IS to throw people off their game. They did a good job.

So you’re probably wondering why they came to my door. What horrible, unspeakable thing have I done?

They were actually following up on a report I’d filed a couple of months ago. So really, even though I was rattled, I’m pleased that they’re on the case!

Okay, enough about my real life “adventure” — here are my goals (and progress/lack thereof). 

Stick to my writing/publication schedule  – Proud to say I’m right on track!

 Blog about my progress 5 times per week –  Doing fairly well, right?

Run three times per week/race six times in year/walk 365 miles –   Second week in a row I’m tanking on this one. I ran Sunday, but that’s it. I’m blaming the cold (and it IS cold!) but I should have dragged myself to the treadmill, but I’ve felt like I’m on the verge of coming down with something…very tired, sore throat, ear ache…not sure if it’s an excuse or good judgment.

Run with someone other than the dog or Long Suffering two times-   Did it once…will try again later this year.

Lose twenty pounds-  17.5 to go

Practice yoga or meditation AND strength training 3x per week-   I’ve done the meditation and yoga. Everything hurts because of the cold so I’ve been unwilling to get on the cold floor to strength train…that one’s DEFINITELY an excuse.

Take a class/attend a conference-   did nothing

Find a volunteer opportunity I actually like-    Waiting to hear.

Take a photograph every day (and try to post them)-   Only one so far this week….I keep forgetting.

Banish excuses!-   Interesting how when I’m feeling overwhelmed, I tend to make more excuses.

How are YOUR goals coming along? 

Would YOU make a good criminal?



5 thoughts on “I’d Make a Terrible Criminal…maybe BECAUSE I’m a writer?

  1. How lovely of them to come and give you an update on your report, but couldn’t they have done it during normal hours? Sheesh. Unless it was time sensitive and they needed to update you immediately, that is. But really, how many general updates are time sensitive?

    I think you’re doing pretty good on your goals. Heck, I’m in awe that you’re getting so much done. Definitely take it easy if you’re on the verge of something germy – especially with all that flu going around.

    The goals here – surviving the year and embracing change – are going okay. I’m feeling pretty good and while I do feel all barfy when I think about some of the changes ahead, I’m trying to embrace them as they come.

  2. Janet says:

    OK – I’d be standing at the door wondering if they truly were police officers! As I was reading your post, I was picturing all kinds of horrible things (my imagination can be very dark and scary). And the suspiciousness of police officer (didn’t show you his badge, makes me wonder) is very unsettling!

    Too funny about the ‘hiding the body’ – I cringe at the thought of anyone going through my browser history on my computer!!

    Good job on the goals. And, like B.E. says, if you’re not feeling well, take it easy. I know the treadmill is not the best choice when it comes to running, but I often tell myself 10 minutes. I can do anything for 10 minutes – and once I’m on, I end up doing my entire workout. Good luck, JB!

  3. jblynn says:

    B.E. — You’re doing great!

    Janet — I got on the treadmill yesterday…sooooo boring.

  4. Casey L Clark says:

    Um, no… I would be a very nervous criminal. I too would be wonder what the detectives strategy was, or how I could incorperate this into my next scene somehow. LOL

    Good job with the goals, you’re doing great! And yes.. it IS cold!

    As far as My goals… not too bad.

    I’ve had a few set backs with my writing, due to very busy day-job days… I’m pushing through it, though, and I am still learning new lessions. (they are never ending!)

    I run 1mi. every night after work (on treadmill), and on my days off, I run 1mi. in the morning, and at night I do 1mi. on the Eliptical, and 2mi. on the treadmill, followed by free weights and then Abd work. Of course I get to watch TV in the gym, so this may be why i work out so much. 😉
    *plus it makes my day job easier*

    And with the clean eating, I only cheated and ate pie once this week, but to be fair, it was a work party so I HAD to in the name of good manners. 😛

  5. Vickie Smith says:

    I would definitely NOT make a good criminal. I’d crack like an egg with the first look. I get nervous, my face turns red, I would be an embarrassment to criminals everywhere :O)
    I would be thrills if I could come as close to my goals as you have done. Good job.

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